Mike Rowave turns up the heat

AT last! The fixtures are out and we can start planning our summer.

In early May it’s time to get the sat nav really earning its money by heading off to Plymouth and Leicester for the one ‘tour’ weekend on the Bears’ calendar.
Before then, a nice early trip to Berwick presents a swift opportunity to visit the nearby Robert Smith’s fish and chip shop where they sell the nicest chicken kebabs this side of Timbuktu.
And a few weeks after that we’re off to Premier League new boys Ipswich where the pubs are noted for their fine selection of Greene King ales.
But let’s not forget the speedway. Or maybe you had.
Speedway? Remember that?
Yes, with the season ending a month earlier last year, the winter really has seemed to drag even more than usual.
Bored? I’m chairman of the blooming bored!
And talk about kick someone when they’re down – I haven’t even been able to follow the fortunes of Smithy, Manson and the gang on The Bill since ITV relieved them of their duties and put them back on Civvy Street.
So my winter mission was to find something that would keep me interested, entertained and occupied over the long months without shalesport.
And, I don’t mind declaring, I accomplished this task with aplomb.
My job was simple – to send off for as many freebies as possible using silly names.
There are all sorts of internet sites with links to companies offering free sample of their goods, so I thought what the heck?
Pretty soon a sample of shampoo dropped on my doormat – addressed to Mr Ray Kinleaves. I’d been clearing the garden of the stuff that falls from trees during autumn so it seemed appropriate.
Some friends of mine upped the ante and suggested I only used names relevant to the product I was trying to blag – so naturally I accepted the challenge.
Sure enough I was soon tucking into some very tasty soup which had arrived addressed to Mr Mike Rowave.
I’ve also been enjoying some complimentary tea delivered to Mr Juan Sugar and I’ve also gratefully received a voucher for some free orange juice – in the name of Mr Ray Gingthirst.
I did, however, resist the temptation to send Mr Drew Peacock a free Viagra sample.
But the fixtures are out now and I have some serious planning and blogging to do so I guess that’s it until next autumn now – bring on the speedway.
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