Lost and found

I ONCE deliberately gave a lost Scouser the wrong directions to his intended destination.


Well, they’re fair game aren’t they, Scousers?
The old saying goes that they’re well balanced people – they’ve got a chip on each shoulder.
And trying to cover for the total inadequacies of one of their football teams by simply parroting that they’ve got “der ‘istory” is just silly. And annoying.
So have Royal Engineers AFC but you don’t hear too many of their supporters harping back to the glory days of 1875 when they beat Old Etonians in the FA Cup final, do you?
OK, so Liverpool’s success is greater and more recent – but that’s no shield against the term “not very good any more” being used.
So anyway what happened on this particular day was that I was almost back at the office after my regular lunchtime constitutional when out of his van leapt this curly-haired, moustached motorist.
“Aye, ‘scuse me wack,” he said, “can you tell me the way to der town ‘all?”
Confidently and eloquently, I instructed him to keep going, take the second left and he couldn’t miss it. I even repeated it in case he’d missed anything.
That was, of course, completely the wrong direction – I was pretty darn convincing, even if I do say so myself.
So it just goes to show – you can never believe what you’re told, no matter how convincing it may seem.
Take the weather forecast last Thursday – I studied three of them. They were all wrong.
And take the current Bears team. I was convinced we’d make a cracking start and have a couple of wins under our belts by now although it hasn’t turned out that way. I’d wager you thought something fairly similar yourselves.
I haven’t seen that Scouser since so I assume he eventually arrived at his destination (I’d hate to think he was still driving round Middlesbrough all these years later).
And the Bears are that Scouser. They’ve experienced frustration, disappointment and distress – but they’ll get there in the end.

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